Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just pee around me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
