Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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