All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
