Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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