i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
