when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
