He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
