I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i dont even know how to be here
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
