I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
