I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
