i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
