would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
