I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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