All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hippo gnu deer
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
