You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize