just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
