"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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