dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
