and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
