Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
