The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
