I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize