My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
