He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you inspire me to be a worse person
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
