Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
