their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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