you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
