Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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