Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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