you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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