i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
