if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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