Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
