Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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