I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize