I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
