sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
