Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize