fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
