you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you never un-have a 4some
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
