Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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