Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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