I am in a vortex of obligation.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
