I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
