do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think my mom watched the whole time
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
