My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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