Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
