I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize