he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize