He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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