I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
