I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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