I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
