i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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