Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
