just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i drank out of a bidet.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
