so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
