i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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