I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
