it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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