I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
