Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
