I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
