I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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