OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm at about main and main street
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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