The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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