The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
