No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
