Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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