wakey wakey hands off snakey
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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