I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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