You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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