I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
