We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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