I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
