Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
