i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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